Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
