Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
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today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh god it's open bar.
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