So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
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Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
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I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just want to make out with him forever
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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