Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
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Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
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Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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