it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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