I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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