I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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