if you like me you must not know who I am
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
