last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
