Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I can text with my tongue
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
