HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
