College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
this beer tastes like vomit already
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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