Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
