i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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