woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
