watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
