grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
two words: eviction party
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
