If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
