this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize