I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
