For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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