I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
