on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
