i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i will never coherently bang her
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
