If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
