I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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