He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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