Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize