i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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