she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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