Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
