I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
