Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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