Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
organizing the empties. That sober.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
