Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
