Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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