What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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