It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize