this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
