you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
