Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
