worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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