I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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