i think i have herpe
just one?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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