finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
