I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
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