shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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