lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
