so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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