Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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