If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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