No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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