Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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