so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
