I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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