Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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