...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i believe in u and ur pee
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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