someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
