and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
this hospital has no fireball
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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